Dear Mom,

Dear Mom,
It has become, once again, necessary for me to write you a quick note. There are some things you just need to understand and embrace.
1. I am 17 months old- this is much too old to sit in a high chair, like a baby. I will only eat my food if you allow me to sit next to you at the table in a real chair. My hunger strike will continue until you make this concession.
2. Naps are, again, for babies. I will snooze a maximum of 2 hours in the afternoon, anything longer than that is simply lazy.
3. Please feed me more spaghetti. I love the way it sounds when I throw it against the kitchen wall and the beautiful red beard it leaves behind on my face.
4. Why do you keep pointing to your tummy and saying "baby"? This is strange.
5. I would appreciate it if you would stop trying to make me get into the pool. I just like to run around the outside of it and gaze at the water.
6. Also, please stop trying to stop me from climbing up the bookcases. It is perfectly good exercise with an element of danger thrown in.
7. I love you but I do not want to hold your hand in public, it is embarrassing. Please walk with me like Grandpa does in the above picture. I will give you the space and respect you need if you allow me the same.
8. I would like an Elmo doll but not one of the freaky mechanical ones that talks- too scary and too much like Chucky.
9. I love you lots for giving me jelly beans.

XOXOXO
Grace